What makes for the best and most enduring friendships? Shared interests? That’s a good way to meet a friend, but not the strongest of glues. Reciprocity? As we’ve seen, the expectation that friendship should be a two-way street is an ancient one. Indeed, one can tire of a relationship quickly if the giving is all one-sided. But reciprocity also has its drawbacks, as when it turns into a prideful game.

There are many ways to think of true friendship. But one of its deepest characteristics, I think, is dependable compassion: I can count on you to rejoice when I rejoice, to weep when I weep. And when I hurt, I know you will reach out, wanting to help. It’s the refrain I hear repeatedly at memorial services: “She was always there for me.”

Paul is drawing his letter to the Philippians to a close. He is thanking them for their gift of support, but in his own way. He is careful with his words, not wanting to risk implying that his gratitude is about the money. Rather, he rejoices to be reminded of the deep and abiding friendship that the gift represents, of their partnership together in the work of the gospel. This apparently has been their relationship from the start:

Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need. (Phil 4:15-16, NIV)

Acts 16 and 17 give us some of the background. Paul, Silas, and their companions have sailed from Troas to Macedonia, landing in Neapolis and making their way to the city of Philippi. There they meet a businesswoman named Lydia who becomes a Christian and welcomes Paul to stay in her home — the home that probably becomes a house-church and the hub of gospel activity in Philippi. Sometime later, Paul and Silas are unjustly thrown into prison for casting a spirit out of a female slave. But the gospel continues to spread, as even the jailer himself becomes a Christian.

When they leave Philippi, they pass through other Macedonian cities until they come to Thessalonica, almost 100 miles west of Philippi. As was his habit, Paul preaches the gospel in the synagogue, and some believe. Other Jews, however, angrily stir up a mob and start a riot. The new believers sneak Paul and Silas out of the city at night, sending them on to Berea, where Paul has even greater success, converting not only local Jews but Gentiles as well. But the Thessalonian troublemakers follow Paul to Berea too, forcing the believers to send him out of Macedonia and on to Athens.

We don’t know exactly how long Paul was in Philippi on that first visit. And we don’t know what the Philippians did for him when he was in Thessalonica. But the point here is simple and twofold: they were supporting him right from the beginning, and they were the only church to do so.

New Testament scholar Gordon Fee notes that the words “in the matter of giving and receiving” would have signaled something like a contractual friendship. Paul seems to have accepted Lydia’s patronage, even though he would not accept patronage from the Corinthians (see 1 Cor 4:12; 2 Cor 11:8-9) or Thessalonians (2 Thess 3:7-10). In those cities, he preferred to earn his own keep when among them. Accepting the Philippians’ patronage says something about his trust of them. They have always been there for Paul, and their relationship was unique.

Even then, he wants to make doubly sure that his words are understood rightly. Grateful for the gift they have sent, and remembering their past help, Paul gives credit where credit is due.

But as we’ll see in the next post, he needs them to know just what kind of credit that is.