PEOPLE GET ANGRY. And when they do, they sometimes say harsh and thoughtless things like, “Why don’t you stop being such a jerk?”

If you’ve ever had someone say that to you, I’m guessing that you didn’t have a sudden and life-changing moment of deep personal insight: “Oh, my! You’re absolutely right. I don’t have to be a jerk! I’ve never realized that before. Thank you!”

Yeah. Not so much. You’re much more likely to have thrown the j-word right back at them.

The problem isn’t just that such words are mean and hurtful (though Paul will teach the Colossians the importance of cleaning up their language). It’s also that it’s easier for us to get stuck in negative patterns of thought than it is to focus on the positive. Think how quickly we can slip down the dark electronic hole of doomscrolling on our phones and you get the idea.

Moreover, when we’re frustrated in our relationships, it’s easier to blurt out what we want others to stop doing than it is to say what we want them to do instead. Thus, “Stop being a jerk” is less helpful than “I want you to be more attentive.” But what does that mean? Even when we say what we want, we often do so in a general or abstract way that still leaves the other person at a bit of a loss. Thus, a more concrete description of attentiveness would be better, like this: “When I have something important to tell you, I want you to sit quietly and listen until I’ve finished speaking.”

It’s harder, in other words, for people to change in positive ways when they don’t know what they’re aiming at. We need examples to emulate, models to follow, descriptions we can picture in our minds. As I suggested in a recent post, parents need to do more than merely tell their children how to live; they have to show them as well.

Similarly, as believers, we’re called to do more than pray for our salvation then wait around for heaven. We’re called by Jesus to make peace, to be salt and light, and to love our enemies; in so doing, we show the world what our Father is like (Matt 5:9, 13-16, 43-45). And how do we know what our Father is like? He’s already shown us in the life and ministry of Jesus.

Thus, Jesus teaches his followers to aim higher; true righteousness goes beyond the rules and regulations of the Pharisees. So, for example, don’t be satisfied with being legally innocent of murder and adultery, he teaches in the Sermon on the Mount. Seek instead to be a person who doesn’t fall prey to the underlying anger and covetous desire.

Paul, too, wants the Colossians to aim higher. He’s already told them that the restrictive religious rules being taught in Colossae are unnecessary and useless; in Christ, they’ve already died to all that. Thus, rather than merely telling them what not to do, he tells them what to do instead:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Col 3:1-2, NIV)

Again, in chapter 2, Paul told the Colossians that they had already been buried with Christ in baptism. That means being united with him in both his death and his resurrection to new life. Because of this, the Colossians are to set their hearts and minds on “things above” instead of on “earthly things.”

Paul, I take it, isn’t speaking of specific “earthly things”; in the context of what he’s just said in chapter 2, he’s making a contrast between true Christian spirituality and an earthbound approach to religion. A religion of rules focuses our attention on the temporal in a way that too easily squeezes out the eternal; anxious obedience takes the place of heavenly hope.

But if we’ve been raised to new life in Christ, if our life is in him, we are free to focus our longings on the things of heaven, where Christ is now “seated at the right hand of God.” That’s not to say that we envision a literal chair somewhere in the sky where Jesus sits awaiting the day of his return; it’s an image of power and authority, a symbol of divine strength and sovereignty. Jesus dared to use such language of himself when interrogated by the Sanhedrin (Mark 14:62), thus claiming to be the Messiah. For that, Jesus earned himself the condemnation of the council and was found guilty of blasphemy.

Believers know better.

The verb that the New International Version translates here as “set your hearts on” is generally translated elsewhere as “search” or “seek,” an active striving toward something desired. Negatively, for example, the word is used of King Herod’s homicidal search for the Christ child (Matt 2:13); positively, it’s used of Jesus seeking the lost (Luke 19:10).

And as you might have guessed, it’s also the word used in Matthew 6:33, where Jesus instructs his disciples to stop worrying obsessively over their earthly needs; they are to trust God and aim higher by seeking his kingdom and righteousness instead.

It’s true and biblical to say that a faithful life is an obedient life. But it’s not a mere external obedience based on compulsion or fear. We do good because we want good; we see the beauty of it and desire it. And to get there, given all the things of the world we are taught implicitly or explicitly to desire, we may have to retrain the way we think.

I’m reminded of what Paul wrote to his beloved church in Philippi, as a way of bringing the moral exhortations of his letter to a close:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Phil 4:8-9)

Paul and his associates have given the Philippians a model to imitate. But here, he also wants to reshape their thinking. His final word isn’t “Stop doing this” or “Don’t think about that” — it’s “Think about, meditate on, dwell on these things, the things that are true, right, and praiseworthy.”

What we think about and where we aim our desires matters, and Paul wants us to aim higher.