IN 2020, THE novel coronavirus — or what came to be known as COVID-19 — put the world in a headlock. The World Health Organization estimates that over 7 million people have died from COVID since the pandemic began. My mother, I’m sorry to say, was one of them, as were some of my friends. During the pandemic, schools, businesses, and churches shut down to limit contagion. People who still had jobs had to work from home. We’re still feeling the ramifications of how the world changed.

Even the English language itself had to grow and evolve to accommodate the new reality. Before 2020, if you told someone that you had to “zoom” that morning, they would have assumed that you were in a hurry to do something or get somewhere. If you say that now, however, they’ll know that you were in an online meeting (possibly in your pajama pants).

Language is dynamic, not static. As I’ve suggested before, the meaning of words adapts to the situations and needs of those who speak the language. I say this because, as we finish our study of First Corinthians 13, I want to disabuse you of a common misconception that has more important implications than you might think at first. The misconception? That the Greek word agape means “Christian love” or something close to it. Let’s tackle that idea first, and then I’ll link it to another misconception.

AS YOU PROBABLY already know, there’s more than one word in Greek that can be translated as “love” in English. Indeed, C. S. Lewis once wrote a book called The Four Loves, in which he distinguished the meanings of four different words for love in Greek. Love, after all, is a multifaceted and complex idea, with different nuances for different situations and relationships. We don’t love a romantic partner the same way we love our parents; we don’t love our friends the same way we love our country. But we use the same word “love” in all those cases, and native speakers understand perfectly well what we mean.

The same can be said of the words for love in Greek. Each of the four words Lewis describes has a range of meanings, and there’s overlap in how the words are used. Not surprisingly, agape is the word Paul uses throughout First Corinthians 13. But the word is used in a variety of ways in the New Testament. In First John 2:15, for example, agape is used to refer to an inappropriate love for worldly things. In John 3:19, it refers to how people who do evil love the darkness. In Luke 11:23, it refers to how the Pharisees selfishly love to be treated in ways that boost their social standing.

Agape, in other words, doesn’t in itself mean a distinctly selfless Christian love. In Paul’s day, people outside the church would have used the word to mean love in a more general sense, and even the Bible’s use of the word isn’t one-dimensional.

Here’s my point, though, and I hope it’s not too subtle. Paul knew that the love of God in Christ was unique, in some ways different than anything the world had ever seen. And he wanted every follower of Christ to embody that same kind of love. Toward that end, however, he didn’t invent a new word. Rather, he co-opted an existing word and invested it with fresh meaning by using it consistently to point back to both God the Father and God the Son. He transformed the language by taking an ordinary word and using it again and again to remind us of the extraordinary love of Jesus.

That idea of transformation, then, leads me to the second misconception, which may be more consequential than the first. You may have heard someone say, “Love isn’t a feeling, it’s an action.” With everything I’ve said about Paul’s use of verbs to describe what love does or doesn’t do, you might expect me to agree. But to say that love is only an action and not a feeling, I think, can be an unhelpful and misleading oversimplification.

MANY OF US struggle in one way or another with our emotions. We may have strong negative emotions that sometimes feel out of control. Or we may wonder about what seems like a lack of emotion. We go to a church service and find ourselves surrounded by people who seem lost in the music and deep into worship, eyes closed, hands raised. Us? Sure, we like the song, but just don’t seem to be able to muster up that kind of emotion. We may feel inadequate because of that, or even guilty. We know we’re supposed to love God and neighbor, but if the truth be told, we’re just not feeling it.

What a relief, then, to be told that obedience is about action, not feelings. The Bible is telling us to behave in loving ways regardless of what we feel. And there is some truth to that.

But it’s not the whole truth. And here again is where we need the idea of transformation.

At any given moment, there’s a complex and ongoing mutual interaction between what’s happening around us, how we respond emotionally, how we think about the situation, and what we do. Someone may do something to which we respond with annoyance, anger, or shame instead of love. But what then? We can do the loving thing, whatever it may be; we can respond in ways that are patient and kind.

That, however, is not the end of it. It’s possible to give such kindness begrudgingly, believing that the other person doesn’t deserve an ounce of it. We may even take some degree of satisfaction in having done the right thing, in contrast to the miserable sinner who offended us in the first place.

But everything Paul teaches about love is meant for our transformation. True, we can and should do what is loving even when we don’t feel loving. Yet as the philosophers might say, such behavior should reshape our “moral emotions” as well. We intentionally behave differently to become different people; we do as Christ did to become more like Christ in our character, not just in action but in a genuine love for our neighbors.

It takes time, of course. But we must always act lovingly toward others with the love of the Father and Son in mind. That is how we eventually learn to see them as God sees them, to love them with a true and godly love.

We won’t all experience emotion in the same way or to the same extent. We don’t have to feel warm and fuzzy toward someone to do right by them. But we shouldn’t cut emotions out of the picture, either. We are meant not only to show love, but to grow in love. And it’s just such love that we should receive gratefully as a gift — a gift to us, a gift to our neighbors, and a gift to the church.

It is, as Paul said, the most excellent way.