IT’S NOT EASY being a toddler.

As suggested earlier, we all have needs. These can range from the concrete to the more abstract. We need certain things for our very survival, like food and water, clothing and shelter. But to thrive fully, in both body and spirit, we also need to discover our meaning and purpose in life.

But there’s a fuzzy line between what we “need” and what we “want,” and the parents of toddlers are always trying to help their little ones learn the difference.

What is that difference, really? In some cases, the distinction is reasonably clear. The child wants to stay up and play, but needs her sleep — and she simply isn’t capable of knowing this the way her parents do. She wants candy, but needs balanced nutrition for her growing body.

But what’s the difference between wanting and needing a hug? Pity the child whose parent says, “No, honey. You may want a hug, but you don’t really need one right now.” What’s the difference between wanting and needing recognition for a job well done? We won’t die if we don’t get it, but we might not last long in the job without it either. The higher we go up Maslow’s hierarchy and the further we get from clear survival needs, the murkier the distinction between needs and wants.

And good luck explaining any of this to a toddler. To them, there is no difference. They want what they want, they want it now — and some are quite insistent about it. To them, it may feel like a survival need, or so it sounds from the way they wail. I’ve seen it play out with my kids and now my grandkids: the frustration and anger of wanting something and not being able to get the grownups to understand what it is. I’ve seen that beseeching, desperate look on my granddaughter’s face, the one that says, Please, please figure this out. If I don’t get what I want, I just might die of disappointment.

And all this drama over…a strawberry.

I’m sure I did the same thing. We all have to learn. Hopefully, we have loving and wise parents who are attentive to our needs. In that kind of safe and secure environment, we can learn to deal with the disappointment, the frustration, the anxiety of not having our supposed needs met. We can learn by experience that our parents still love us when we cry for what we want, and discover that even when we don’t get what we want, we won’t die.

Later in life, it’s that kind of security and confidence that helps us manage our many desires and to make good choices. It frees us to pursue the best of who we can be.

And for Jesus, that entails learning to desire and pursue God’s kingdom above all.

THE NEXT TO last sentence of Matthew 6 is one of the most well-known verses of the entire Sermon on the Mount, and rightly so:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matt 6:33, NIV)

“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,” Jesus says. Indeed, the entire sermon thus far has been about God’s kingdom and the true righteousness that embodies it, as opposed to both worldliness and religious hypocrisy. To “seek” these things implies striving and strong desire. Matthew, for example, uses the same word to describe King Herod’s search for the Christ-child.

This verse, moreover, seems to function like a matching bookend to what Jesus said earlier:

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. … No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. (Matt 6:19-21, 24)

Again, what is our “treasure”? What do we desire in life? Those who want to pursue kingdom righteousness, Jesus teaches, must get their priorities in order. They must serve God, not Mammon; they must seek heavenly treasure, not the earthly kind. And here, near the end of the chapter he reinforces the point by saying that they must seek God’s kingdom and righteousness above all.

Verses like these have been used as the basis for sermons against materialism and greed — and that’s understandable. Such sermons may feel a little “preachy,” as if God were scolding us for having misplaced worldly priorities, allowing ourselves to be stained by a wicked world. But look at everything that comes between the verses we read: it’s all about people being anxious about their survival needs. Jesus isn’t scolding people for wanting the wrong things. He portrays God as a loving Father who wants to reassure us of his care, so we can be free to bend our desires toward the things that are best.

Even the second half of verse 33 reinforces the theme of God’s loving providence: “and all these things will be given to you as well.” I don’t think we should read this as conditional, as if Jesus were saying, “If you do well at kingdom-seeking, then God will feed and clothe you as a reward.” That would go against the very point of Jesus using the birds and wildflowers as examples of God’s care.

Rather, I take Jesus, overall, to be saying something like the following:

If you really desire God’s kingdom, you have to recognize how worldly desires get in the way. I know, I know: many of you live on the edge. Food insecurity is a daily reality for you. I understand that. And at the same time, I want you to be free from that anxiety. After all, what has worry ever done for you? What can worry do?

Here’s what I want you to know, what I want you to take to heart. Your heavenly Father knows what you need. He cares about what you need. In fact, if you pay attention, you can see that care even in creation itself. Trust him. Don’t waste your energy worrying about things over which you have no control. Put that energy toward the Father’s kingdom instead, toward learning his ways and what life was meant to be.

And you just might be surprised: the more you focus your attention and desire on God’s kingdom, the less you’ll worry about other things. Your trust will grow, and your anxiety will diminish.

That’s a far more compassionate message than, “Hey, you down there — stop being so worldly and materialistic.” Like a wise and caring parent, our heavenly Father not only knows and cares about the needs we’re aware of — like food and clothing — he knows the deeper needs we may not be aware of, the things we need to truly thrive. “Seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness” isn’t a religious requirement in the Pharisaic sense; it’s the path to a full and thriving humanity.

But that’s not to say we won’t have trouble, as we’ll see next.