Have you ever received a gift you really didn’t want or need? Back in the 1970s, when my wife and I married, Crock Pots (slow-cookers) were all the rage. Couples without a gift registry could expect to receive more than one; I think my sister received seven. Suffice it to say, no one needs seven slow-cookers. Six go back to the store, as you try to remember who gave you the one you kept so you can invite them over for stew.

Occasionally, a gift leaves you scratching your head: Do they know me at all? Did they really think I would want this? Heck, I can’t think of anyone who would want this… But you kept it in your closet for a while, hoping for an opportunity to “re-gift” it to someone else (let’s not even get into the implications of that).

But how do you say “thank you” for gifts you don’t want or need? In one of my favorite British sitcoms, a character is given a homemade but truly ugly sweater for Christmas, a sweater he clearly will never wear (nor even re-gift). His response: “I can honestly say that on the right occasion, this will be the perfect thing to wear.” Brilliant. It makes the appropriate social display of gratitude even when he isn’t grateful for the gift itself.

If we’re a bit more honest though, or if the giver is perceptive, the giver may realize that the gift isn’t as welcome as he or she had hoped. In that situation, we might soften the blow by saying, “But it’s the thought that counts.” And hopefully, we mean it. Even if we don’t have any use for the gift, we can still appreciate the generosity of the giving.

Here, near the end of Paul’s letter to the Philippians, we finally come to his explicit “thank you” for the gift they sent via Epaphroditus. All the way back near the beginning of our study of Philippians, I suggested how this might seem odd or even inappropriate to us: why doesn’t Paul say thanks first, before moving on to other matters? Isn’t that the right thing to do? Wouldn’t his mother scold him for being rude? Some scholars find it so strange that he would wait until the end of the letter that they believe something has to be off. Is there a problem with the document, or with Paul’s relationship to the Philippians?

And indeed, what Paul says may sound a bit ungrateful to our ears:

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Phil 4:10-12, NIV)

“At last.” That little phrase can carry a truckload of meaning. It can convey a welcome sense of relief, as when some long, tedious ordeal is finally over. Or it can convey a sense of impatience and resentment, as in, “Well, it’s about time!” Neither is what Paul means when he says “at last you renewed your concern for me.” He is not trying to say that he’s suffered from their inattention.

At the same time, he seems aware that his words can be taken the wrong way, so he throws in qualifications. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you weren’t concerned. I’m just saying that you didn’t have a practical opportunity to demonstrate the concern you’ve always had for me. Also, please don’t hear me saying that “at last” means that I’ve been dying on the vine waiting for something from you. Your gift brought me joy — but not because I was distressed and needed help. I’ve actually learned to be content in all situations.

We’ll look more closely at what Paul means by “being content” in upcoming posts. But for the moment, note that the word “renewed” can picture something that flourishes or blossoms. And even more importantly, the word “concern” is the same one he has used repeatedly in the letter to speak of how people “think” and how the Philippians should be of the same “mind.”

Thus, Paul is not saying, “Thanks, this is great. I really need the cash.” He’s saying something more like, “It gives me joy to know that I have friends like you who are thinking of me. You’ve been holding that concern for a long time, and I’m so blessed to see it bloom so tangibly.”

Paul does appreciate the gift.

But truly, it’s the thought that counts, because of the way the gift expresses their loving concern.